This is why I love East Vancouver. People do things that realtors and interior designers tell you not to, like painting their house in polka dots.

Not too many Westsiders are willing to compromise their yuppie aesthetics, not to mention their property values, to paint their house with polka dots. It takes a certain amount of cojones to cover a perfectly nice house with red circles. This is no subtle faux finish tone-on-tone decorating touch. This is bright red on pure white. Every time I pass by, I wonder how the polka dot house came to be.

In Thunder Bay, there was a pagoda on the beach that some kids decorated with rainbow polka dots as a grad prank. The city found it so charming, city workers dutifully repainted the dots year after year. Could this house also be the result of felicitous vandalism? Honey! Look at what those little brats did to our house! Hmm-you know, it's kind of growing on me.

But suppose it wasn't a mistake, but someone's long cherished vision? How on earth do you broach the subject of your dream house with your nearest and dearest? Instead of laying out a card shark's hand of neat squares from the Benjamin More store, do you just present a Strawberry Shortcake doll?

When my sister was in high school, my dad used to make preposterous bets with her to encourage her to transform her Cs into As. Once, he even ripped a $100 in half and pinned one piece to her wall and promised her the other half if she could just get one A. She never collected. Maybe this house is the outcome of a similar bet? "Hey, little Suzy, if you get through Kindergarten and don't burn down the school, we'll paint the house any colour you want."

Of course, it could be a case of reverse blackmail. Picture a Goth kid, trailing angst and tattered tulle, coming home to find a candy-strippers dream house. "Alright, Desolation, if you don't pull up your socks, or your fishnets, whatever, we're going live in a polka-dot house forever. One good grade, and I'll paint it colour of the lichen on Baudelaire's tomb."

However the decision is made, once you've decided to paint the house with polka dots, how do you tell your painter your vision? Do you cross your arms, stare him down, and tell him outright, or do you lead up to it slowly? "Well, what I have in mind is a little abstract, sort of a mediation, if you will, on the nature of pi."

Maybe the best thing to do is to just brazen it out. "Here are the brushes, and the white paint, and over there are the cans of red, and the stencils."

"Stencils?"

"Yes of course. How else are you going to make perfect circles?"

"Circles?"

"For the polka dots, of course. Where did you learn to paint, under a rock?"

Whatever their origin, these polka dots are executed with precision, and lovingly maintained. A small section of a drainpipe is even painted red, to preserve the integrity of the pattern. There is something heartwarming about these brave red circles. They are a flag flying to honour non-conformists everywhere.

I hope the owner never decides to paint over the polka dots. Eccentricities like this give the East Side its character, and help us keep the Gap-clad hordes safely on the other side of Main. Long live East Van.